If you have a personal story about the effects of heroin and would like to share it with others, email it to Eileen Faust, online editor of The Pottstown Mercury, efaust@pottsmerc.com, or Frank Otto, Mercury reporter, fotto@pottsmerc.com and we will post it on this page.
A Thank You
First of all I want to thank the Pottstown Mercury for doing a wonderful job of telling our stories with the “Fatal Addiction” series.
I just want to take this opportunity to reiterate how bad this problem is and how things can get so out of control so quickly. Prevention is really the key.
I agree the medical profession in general gives out prescription pain medication way too quickly, but it is also our job as parents to monitor what we give our kids. I know there is a time and place for potent pain relievers to people with severe pain and debilitating diseases and afflictions. But do we really need this for minor surgery, a simple fracture or wisdom teeth removal? No, I don’t think so, not in most cases.
If I knew how addictive these drugs are to some people, I would have really thought twice before ever giving these drugs to my kids unless absolutely necessary.
Granted most people can take these drugs on occasion and have no ill effects, but to the person with that addictive gene, that addictive body chemistry, it can be a very slippery slope. The fact that these drugs are legal gives teenagers the idea that they are safe.
There are so many aspects to this epidemic and it affects everyone. The Mercury has done and is doing a great service to our community by reporting these different aspects of this problem. They are continuing to write about police involvement and arrests, heroin-related crime and resources for help.
To the rest of the community, thank you for all your support and positive feedback. Please keep sharing our stories, keep talking about and discussing the problem with your friends, neighbors and coworkers. Reach out to me or Coleen with questions and ideas, or if you just need someone to talk to.
This problem is not going to get better on its own and our young people are going to keep dying until we all take a stand.
Kathy Mackie
Two letters
Cindy Wanamaker wrote to us saying, "I know there are many, many parents and family members out there who are on this journey along with their kids."
She sent The Mercury two letters to share with readers. "One was a letter I wrote to my son when he entered his first rehab. It was the first of many. The other is a letter he got when he was in rehab from his friend 'heroin,'" she wrote in an email. The letters follow.
From Mom:
Dear R:
How do you write a letter using words to express all the feelings and emotions that I/we have been through in regard to your journey into drugs when words don’t seem to penetrate? Remember the first time I heard a string of cursing from you and was upset? You said “they are just words, why do you get so upset, they don’t mean anything”. I guess that is part of the problem…you have a answer for everything and manipulate words all the time, deceiving in the past, I am sur,e a few teachers, therapists and of course us, because you know what everyone wants to hear…but it doesn’t mean anything, it doesn’t appear to change anything. It’s lip service. The power to influence and positively effect someone or a situation with words is such a marketable, powerful skill that God has given you to be used for good. Even now, all that you have been thru, could help someone else who is struggling. Ironically, no one seems to have found the right words to touch you, to penetrate your brain, to make a difference …...
I think you know you are loved, unconditionally. And if you doubt it, I will tell you again…we love you. But trust, tranquility and time have all been taken away in our family and we substituted anger, sadness, self-pity and heartache. We aren’t a perfect family. …….. I am not the Dr Mom, you and your Dad tease me about, but I think drugs are just a mask for dealing with the real issues…a chance to escape for a while, just like I may use work to escape at times. How do we gain trust again…that what you say is true, that what you are doing behind a closed door doesn’t involve a needle in your arm, that you really are where you say you are? That even weed, something I know you think should be legalized, can’t be part of your life when you come home. That so called “friends” may have to be forgotten.
Tranquility. Peace, laughing together, doing things together, enjoying each other’s company. So much tension in the house, us checking up on you, hiding our money or car keys, you feeling like it is a prison…no privacy. Anger outburst and slamming doors. Your Dad getting upset and me trying to balance it all. I can’t do it anymore. You shouldn’t live like that…we shouldn’t live like that. We won’t live like that. Your Christmas card to me said I have taken care of you for 18 years and now it was your turn…a transformation was going to take place. It starts with being honest with yourself and those around you. Manipulation and deceit may work for awhile, but you know in your heart, that God won’t let you get away with that forever, and one way or the other, you will be accountable for your actions. As your Mom, it breaks my heart to think you have to learn everything the hard way. Consequences are not just go to your room, no ice cream or PlayStation anymore. It’s jail, your future, your health, or even death. I know I have to learn how to bring tranquility back into my life, regardless of what path you take, and that may mean detaching myself…the biggest loss of all for your Dad and me.
Time. We have lost time, something we can’t get back. Your teen years aren’t over, but I think we have all missed out on some things…. we so want you to be happy, healthy and successful .not rich… not famous, but comfortable with who you are, doing something you are passionate about, your own niche, that allows you to earn a living, maybe raise a family and enjoy all the things that can bring you a natural high. We have lost some of those years between our struggles with school, drugs; ADD challenges and that makes me sad. Some of that sadness is selfish but mostly I am sad for you and I hope your stay in rehab will be the beginning of a new road, a new journey, a true realization of all you are capable of if you give yourself a chance….
Love,
Mom
From 'heroin':
I just want to take this opportunity to reiterate how bad this problem is and how things can get so out of control so quickly. Prevention is really the key.
I agree the medical profession in general gives out prescription pain medication way too quickly, but it is also our job as parents to monitor what we give our kids. I know there is a time and place for potent pain relievers to people with severe pain and debilitating diseases and afflictions. But do we really need this for minor surgery, a simple fracture or wisdom teeth removal? No, I don’t think so, not in most cases.
If I knew how addictive these drugs are to some people, I would have really thought twice before ever giving these drugs to my kids unless absolutely necessary.
Granted most people can take these drugs on occasion and have no ill effects, but to the person with that addictive gene, that addictive body chemistry, it can be a very slippery slope. The fact that these drugs are legal gives teenagers the idea that they are safe.
There are so many aspects to this epidemic and it affects everyone. The Mercury has done and is doing a great service to our community by reporting these different aspects of this problem. They are continuing to write about police involvement and arrests, heroin-related crime and resources for help.
To the rest of the community, thank you for all your support and positive feedback. Please keep sharing our stories, keep talking about and discussing the problem with your friends, neighbors and coworkers. Reach out to me or Coleen with questions and ideas, or if you just need someone to talk to.
This problem is not going to get better on its own and our young people are going to keep dying until we all take a stand.
Kathy Mackie
Two letters
Cindy Wanamaker wrote to us saying, "I know there are many, many parents and family members out there who are on this journey along with their kids."
She sent The Mercury two letters to share with readers. "One was a letter I wrote to my son when he entered his first rehab. It was the first of many. The other is a letter he got when he was in rehab from his friend 'heroin,'" she wrote in an email. The letters follow.
From Mom:
Dear R:
How do you write a letter using words to express all the feelings and emotions that I/we have been through in regard to your journey into drugs when words don’t seem to penetrate? Remember the first time I heard a string of cursing from you and was upset? You said “they are just words, why do you get so upset, they don’t mean anything”. I guess that is part of the problem…you have a answer for everything and manipulate words all the time, deceiving in the past, I am sur,e a few teachers, therapists and of course us, because you know what everyone wants to hear…but it doesn’t mean anything, it doesn’t appear to change anything. It’s lip service. The power to influence and positively effect someone or a situation with words is such a marketable, powerful skill that God has given you to be used for good. Even now, all that you have been thru, could help someone else who is struggling. Ironically, no one seems to have found the right words to touch you, to penetrate your brain, to make a difference …...
I think you know you are loved, unconditionally. And if you doubt it, I will tell you again…we love you. But trust, tranquility and time have all been taken away in our family and we substituted anger, sadness, self-pity and heartache. We aren’t a perfect family. …….. I am not the Dr Mom, you and your Dad tease me about, but I think drugs are just a mask for dealing with the real issues…a chance to escape for a while, just like I may use work to escape at times. How do we gain trust again…that what you say is true, that what you are doing behind a closed door doesn’t involve a needle in your arm, that you really are where you say you are? That even weed, something I know you think should be legalized, can’t be part of your life when you come home. That so called “friends” may have to be forgotten.
Tranquility. Peace, laughing together, doing things together, enjoying each other’s company. So much tension in the house, us checking up on you, hiding our money or car keys, you feeling like it is a prison…no privacy. Anger outburst and slamming doors. Your Dad getting upset and me trying to balance it all. I can’t do it anymore. You shouldn’t live like that…we shouldn’t live like that. We won’t live like that. Your Christmas card to me said I have taken care of you for 18 years and now it was your turn…a transformation was going to take place. It starts with being honest with yourself and those around you. Manipulation and deceit may work for awhile, but you know in your heart, that God won’t let you get away with that forever, and one way or the other, you will be accountable for your actions. As your Mom, it breaks my heart to think you have to learn everything the hard way. Consequences are not just go to your room, no ice cream or PlayStation anymore. It’s jail, your future, your health, or even death. I know I have to learn how to bring tranquility back into my life, regardless of what path you take, and that may mean detaching myself…the biggest loss of all for your Dad and me.
Time. We have lost time, something we can’t get back. Your teen years aren’t over, but I think we have all missed out on some things…. we so want you to be happy, healthy and successful .not rich… not famous, but comfortable with who you are, doing something you are passionate about, your own niche, that allows you to earn a living, maybe raise a family and enjoy all the things that can bring you a natural high. We have lost some of those years between our struggles with school, drugs; ADD challenges and that makes me sad. Some of that sadness is selfish but mostly I am sad for you and I hope your stay in rehab will be the beginning of a new road, a new journey, a true realization of all you are capable of if you give yourself a chance….
Love,
Mom
From 'heroin':
Mother's love is forever
 |
| Tyler Shepler |
I am still struggling to believe that he is really gone...forever. I really thought he was going to make it. I read so much on addiction and educated myself and counseled with professionals to become the best support to my son I could possibly be. Unconditional love while not enabling the disease. It is a very fine line and difficult tightrope to walk.
Being a mother who loves her son so much she wants her son to not have to struggle but understanding that sometimes that is the only medicine for this evil disease - this is the daily battle for the mother of an addict.
I truly accepted my role as a mother of an addict. I had come to peace with it. I would walk the walk and endure the pain, fear and struggle because I love my son. The last share that I had written for an upcoming NarAnon meeting I wrote on Tuesday and my son was killed when hit by a car on Thursday. He left this world only two days after the writing of my share, and a few days before the meeting I was to share it at. It is horribly eerie...
My son before the disease was loyal, kind, brilliant, musically gifted, selfless, respectful and I could go on and on. He was the son everyone wanted for their own. But the disease changed him as it does everyone it gets its grip on. It will be my mission, at some point, to help fight this disease and have my son remembered for the person he was 18 of his 22 years of life rather than the last four battling this disease.
Written by Diane Shepler, of Muhlenberg Township, regarding the loss of her son Tyler. Tyler had attended Reading Central Catholic High School. He died in December 2012 at the age of 22 from an accident caused by the effects of heroin addiction.
Rodney,
ReplyDeleteI am so happy that you have decided to make a change for the better. I know it is hard and every day is a fight to stay sober, but you have made some very positive changes and I pray you will live the rest of your days without that demon keeping you from the person and Dad you are supposed to be. Thank you for taking the time to read Trevor and Steve's stories. Responses from people like you are how I keep moving forward and helps me to know my son's death was not in vain. I will keep you in my prayers.
Kathy Mackie
Thank you for openly discussing such an emotional topic. I hope that one day my family will be able to do the same as we work through our own grief of losing a loved one to addiction.
ReplyDelete